Step A - To make the Base:
1) Tell you what, why not pre-heat your oven? Let's call the temperature around 190. Dunno what gas mark that is. You're on the web already aren't you? Do I have to do everything?
2) Chop the onion up. Chop the Cherry tomatoes up. Hell chop everything up, including the chilli. Leave the seeds in, or take them out, depending on how much of a party you want in your mouth.
3) Drain the tin of tuna, of whatever it was swimming in. Stir all the ingredients for the base into a large dish or bowl. Use a bowl actually, you probably will need your dish to actually make the Lasagne in. duh.
4) This bit is DONE. How easy? You'll need the base in a minute. Keep it safe. Don't let people pick at it.
Step B - To make the Sauce:
1) Chop your chives into little pieces, and squish your garlic and chop it fine, like you've seen Ainsley do. This may take a while. Use a couple of cloves (your treat).
2) Pour a tablespoon or two of olive oil into a saucepan (or whack your butter/margarine/dripping/sump oil in). It would be better if your pan was less than 20 years old and non-stick, (although Cookery Corner normally gets by using King Alfred's old cooking equipment).
3) Add the garlic to your choice of grease, and sizzle it for a very short while. Be careful and don't burn it, which will just make your sauce cruncy and bitter. This is not the time to catch the end of Neighbours. But then you know this..
4) Stir in your flour until it forms a smooth paste/lumpy clod. Blind fate usually decides this.
5) Add a little milk and stir vigourously over the heat until things become a lumpy clod again. Add a little more milk, repeat. If you just add all the milk at once things will get messy. Be patient. Eventually it will no longer be a lumpy clod. But be patient.
6) When your sauce is simultaniously simmering and resembling thick wallpaper paste (but not as lumpy. actually let's face it it probably will be), it is ready. Add chives and horseradish sauce. Keep tasting it until you are sure that it is nice.
7) Remove the sauce to something from which you can easily pour it. Like a jug, for example. (You should be able to pour it, by the way. But not like milk pours, more like molten lava pours. This is my last advice on the subject). You are now ready for the fun bit
Step C - Construction:
1) Take an oven dish which has a little depth. Pour one third of the sauce onto the bottom of the dish. If anything try and use too little of the sauce rather than too much. If you run out, you're buggered.
2) Spoon one half of the base into the dish, and carefully spread it so that it covers the layer of sauce. Do not worry if your work at this stage is imperfect.
3) Place a single layer of Raw lasagne on top break it where necessary to fill nooks and crannies.
4) Cover the lasagne with a further layer of sauce. Keep plenty back for the top layer, though. You may need to be creative.
5) Carefully spoon the remainder of the base evenly on top of the sauce layer. Be patient.
6) Add another layer of lasagne. Are we having fun yet?
7) Add the rest of the sauce, making sure to cover all the pasta.
8) Put the dish in the oven. Check it in about 30 minutes. When it's done it should get a bit crispy on top. If it isn't be patient, and don't blame the recipe. You most likely went wrong somewhere....
Summary
So did anyone try this? Did it work? Oh. Well do you have any better ideas? If you do, then you have two choices:
(i) Start your own cookery website
(ii) Write to my cookery website, and I'll share it with the world. You'll be famous!
