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Eat Cheese!

Present Review Feedback

Rowland Coping, 07/01/07

Ah it was never going to be pretty. I asked for it. Firstly (and, uh - finally, thus far) my otherwise lovely brother responded with a rather vitriolic piece.

"I enjoyed the review and can't help but agree that the beans recipe book is a useless present..... I would, however, like to add that the beans recipe book was an act of revenge...... last year you gave me Jerry Springer the Opera, a dirty book that hasn't been opened, but to top it all off, a plastic lightsaber. A previous gift from you, bearing in mind that I'm not at all religious, was a china nativity scene. It looks lovely in the loft...."

Uncalled for I'm sure you'll agree. No-one appreciates the effort I go to. Nobody. Anyway.....

He went on to review the wonderful presents he received, a sample of which I include:

LET THE REVIEWS BEGIN

The Cheeky Monkey MK II

W-w-w-what a lovely....
erm... other monkey, Nan...

From my brother

"I too love my Nan. But she also gave me a monkey. Granted, it's not as camp as my brother's monkey (excuse the expression), but it's a monkey all the same. It sits on a high shelf over a hard floor. I hope nothing happens to it."

Useless rating: 6/7

Really nice glasses that lots of thought went into

Aren't those lovely glasses? What a great present.

From my dear lovely brother

"My brother gifted me with two glass tumblers and two martini glasses. They are very pretty and very nice. They sit in a place of honour in a glass cabinet in my living room. Unfortunately, I doubt they will ever be used."

Useless rating: 4/7

Toiletries

Smells fresh

From my brother

"I appreciate the gesture. I really do, but I have deodorant sprays and shower gel coming out of my ears (literally). Are they trying to tell me something? Next year, can I please have the cash?"

Useless rating: 5/7

Conclusions

If you think you can do better then it's too late. It's not Christmas any more, and I've shut the e-mail down...